Kemistry: One Ohhh One: Original blog 6/16/05:
Have you ever been to one of those singles mixers?
You know the kind, where everyone is there to meet people? Where everyone knows that everyone else is also there to meet people? Where everyone supposedly wants to meet people?
Then explain to me why the women are on one side and the men are congregated on the other? Are they preparing to play dodge ball? Is there an invisible line down the middle of the bar? Did Monday night football at Gallagher’s somehow get mixed up with Jane’s book of the month club get together for female shut-in’s? Did an organizer say “men to the right, women to the left” upon entry?
No, none of these things occurred.
What is happening is that the vast majority of men and women, despite furiously wanting to meet each other, despite dressing for the occasion, despite looking and smelling their best, preparing for hours, and looking forward to this for weeks… are scared to death to approach one another.
Ugh. How did we as a nation come to this point?
We all love to laugh, to play, to dance, to sing, to have fun with our friends, eat great food, see an awesome flick, go to the beach, the pool, the lake, and to the ever popular tar beach (up on da rooooooooooof!).
So how did we all get so damn freaky? How did we come to this place of complete gender eradication where the roles are not defined, not understood, and everyone walks around cool, aloof, non needy…
…and totally and completely alone?
We’ll be examining, among other things why that guy, y’know that guy, the one you’ve been waiting for your entire life, the one you’ve been seeing for three weeks, has suddenly turned into a blithering, ass kissing, whimpering idiot who bears no resemblance to the awesome dude you thought you were falling for.
And your friend, the really hot girl who can get any man she wants? The one who has rich guys chasing her and kissing her feet? The one who knows that she’s “all that”… who is SHE chasing after?
Who else? …The out of work guitar player who worked at the local coffee shop, until he was fired for hitting on the boss’s daughter.
He’s bad news altogether. He abuses the women he sees. He cheats on them. He yells at them and puts them down. He is a total and complete asshole, yet women swoon at his feet.
Why?
Because he has confidence, and due to this complete confidence he understands that if you say no, chances are the next girl will say yes, and he doesn’t care either way. Women are driven insane by this level of confidence and they can deny it from now until doomsday, but where there is a “bad boy” there is without a doubt a trail of women following him, calling him, begging to be with him. It is a fact of life and it will never change. The more outrageous his behavior, the more women swoon for his every movement. The more he lets them down, stands them up, and displays an aloof attitude of “whatever” when she gets upset, the more in love she feels, and the harder she will try to make him love her back.
She cannot understand this about herself. She wishes secretly that she could just find that one “nice guy” but her subconscious mind knows that she would never even give that guy a sniff, so she’s doomed from the start.
The old standby that “nice guys finish last” is truer today than it ever was. This same woman has a best friend for many years; we’ll call him “Jeff.”
Jeff has an amazing job helping others. He is tall, good looking, makes great money and is the sweetest man she has ever known. Every time she has “guy problems” Jeff comes running to her aid, day or night, it makes no difference. He will listen to her cry for hours all the while wiping her tears, making herbal tea, and building back her good humor with jokes and warm, tender hugs.
Jeff has always been there for her and always will be. He is the light of her life, her knight in shining armor, her buddy, her pal. She wishes she could find a guy like Jeff; he is so wonderful and understanding. Why can’t she find a man like him, do they even exist?
What is this girl missing? Why can’t she see the nose in front of her pretty face? Why has she never had even the slightest erg of attraction towards this amazing, handsome man?
Well, it is not her fault, it is Jeff’s.
Jeff does not know how to create attraction. He knows nothing of the way in which “chemistry” is built between a man and a woman. He only knows how to be nice and assumes that eventually she will wise up and see the light shining on his handsome face.
But he is wrong, as his behavior is exactly the reason why she will NEVER feel attraction for him.
He is dependable.
He is reliable.
He is always available to her, whenever or for whatever she needs him.
He is unselfish.
He is a “nice guy” in every respect, polite, sweet, understanding,
and boring…
and predictable,
and unattractive in every way she wants a man to BE attractive,
even though she is completely unaware of these facts at a conscious level and would argue from now until doomsday that these are the facts.
If JUST ONCE, just one time she called Jeff to vent about her horrible boyfriend and he responded with “can’t talk now hun, I have a date. We’ll chat later, bye” she would fall off her chair and suddenly Jeff would be much better looking, more attractive to HER, finally.
Why?
Ain’t it obvious?
He said “no” to her for the first time, and suddenly her entire world was turned upside down. Jeff suddenly is unpredictable, he isn’t constantly available. He has a life besides her, so now he has an attraction that was not there previously.
Spike...
10/9/07- And I said it all too:
As I sit here building this site and reviewing the previous blog, I can easily understand why many female friends of mine disagree vehemently with the words therein.
I also understand why so very many of them agree, and those are the rare few who have great relationships with the men in their lives.
I won't even begin to attempt to convince anyone, anywhere, of my beliefs on the amazing subject of chemistry between the sexes, because talking about this subject, like one on one, like on a date, is a sure fire way to end that date very quickly!
If, however you gather 60 or more folks in a room and start discussing this stuff? Well, you just gotta see how the shit hits the proverbial fan then!!!
Spike...
10/11/07- I bow in your general direction:
Lexxi is one of my partners. She is 21, totally a bombshell in every way, and totally knows it too. She is one dangerous character indeed.
So we were in Washington Square Park tonight practicing our scenarios when the conversation turned (it always turns with us) to putting gorgeous women on a pedestal so high that they are almost un-approachable to most men.
I shared stories about the women I grew up with, and the ones who did the best with the guys were the ones who dressed in jeans and football jerseys and wore little to no makeup. Yeah, they were cute anyway, we're not talking about female Russian power lifters here!
Lexxi was not surprised. She explained that last week she was out with a date, and some of her friends. According to her she looked very hot that night. One of her female friends had developed a case of acne and to say the least was not exactly dressed very sexy that evening.
This same friend went home with a ton of phone numbers, while Lexxi was ignored by nearly every male in the joint, every one except her date that is!
We agreed that the reason for this inconsistency was that her friend appeared "approachable" while Sexxy Lexxi went home numberless.
Who woulda thunkit?
Spike...
10/14/07 - Can someone help me with this stuff?
It's amazing to me how detailed our fantasies can get about meeting that perfect lover; what their neck would smell like, how they would move across the floor when they know you are looking, how their lips would taste on that first, tender kiss and how they would react to the teasing (you know what I mean girls).
Now the deep conversations I have with female friends on this subject could be chapters in a long book. They are complete and detailed and could raise goosebumps on a lesser person.
My guy friends on the other hand? Well. lets just say they view me (due to past history with women) as a bit of a player (if they only knew my girlie heart!) thus the conversations are short and something more like "so what's on ESPN?"
You'd think that the men would at least want to hear about the sex stuff, but it just doesn't come to that.
For example, I wrote a book on Internet dating a few years back, and chapter ten was VERY X-rated. My guy friends upon reading that chapter (with the exception of my dad, who was beaming at my "conquests") were unmoved to say the least.
My female friends on the other hand were raving about the chapter, including my friend Codey who called me from Alaska to tell me that she was squirming in her airplane seat while reading that particular chapter.
I'll just never figure this stuff out!
Spike...
10/18/07 - "So, like, what age is this thingie anyway?"
A recent email to my inbox went something like this:
"I really don't wanna come and be surrounded by creepy old guys my fathers' age. So what is the age group of these events?"
Well, the simple answer is that most folks who show up to our events are smart, outgoing people in their twenties and thirties. Yes, we indeed do get people older than that who have much wisdom to share. Please understand that although this is a singles event, it is also a discussion group where many lifestyle issues are discussed in great detail. That's the funny thing about being a bit older and having life experience!
You may or may not meet the person of your dreams at one of our events, but you definitely will be entertained beyond belief, and come away from our event with more than you entered with, in the way of life's trials and tribulations!
Nuff said...
Spike
10/26/07 - "Um, a little higher with the eyes, please?"
At a recent social networking event, I noticed that the music was a bit louder than one would expect. Well I was there to make contacts and to promote my event, as was my partner Les who did not find me for nearly an hour as the bar was packed. Upon entry, everyone was required to write a name tag with their name clearly portrayed.
I needed to do something different to get noticed so instead of my real name I wrote in large, block letters "SPIKE."
But of course! Now this indeed did get me noticed by everyone, especially the women who would immediately ask "Spike? Is that your real name?"
My response was instant. "No, it's a nickname given to me by my ex girlfriend."
When they asked the origin of the name I would say "certainly I cannot answer that in mixed company!" and roll my eyes. The women would laugh and in the most fleeting gestures, glance quickly down for the evidence they so deeply wanted to discover.
I call this "the stealth glance."
Now when a guy is interested in a woman he will stare forever, fantasizing about all the wondeful things they could do together, like baking and stuff.
Women are far more devious. A woman can size up a man and everything he is about in three nanoseconds. No doubt about it!
Spike
12/24/07 - "Offered: One slightly used boyfriend." Part One.
On December 2, 2007 as part of Quentin’s beta testers for the new QFNY site I posted the following message as a joke:
(For the many of you not in the "know," QFNY" is "Quentin's New York Friends," a networking group of around 3000 members, and the best business and social tool I have ever been involved in, or hope to ever be!)
Offered: One slightly used boyfriend:
1958 near mint condition boyfriend available to the right owner.
Slightly used, rarely abused, high mileage but mostly for highway usage and cross country trecks.
Original engine, fully loaded with tons of available options.
This baby has the power and the stamina to go off road, yet cleans up nicely for those nights on the town, an awesome ride to be sure.
Clean, clear headlights mark the way for this classic vehicle.
All upholstery and equipment is original and has been kept in impeccable condition.
Never one to be "left out in the rain" this workhorse knows its way around any bend, and always finds the way home at night.
This unit will not remain on the market for long.
Bids begin at 25K, but coffee at Starbucks would suit as well.
Do not miss out on this one of a kind, once in a lifetime offer!
Contact "Pristine Offers" at the above address.
And good luck to the winning bidder!
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Now, being in the rare position of being sans girlfriend, I was curious to see the kind of responses that would come back from the few people who were also doing the beta test.
Quentin emailed me to ask if there were “any takers?”
Cute.
One woman actually wrote the following response to me:
“Hmmmm...I'm about to sell my car; would you like to write the text? (Kinda serious!)”
I replied that I would and that I could help her to sell her car on eBay.
There were several phone calls from friends (hey, I’ve been on QFNY nearly five years so I have a LOT of friends here!) who pleaded with me to put the silly post on the Yahoo site (main site).
I agreed, and thus the reason for this ongoing post/blog. The response to the post was off the wall, and so after a discussion with Quentin I agreed to post a running account of the “car sale” for all to be entertained.
No names will be included as there are already several REALLY embarrassing stories here. Suffice to say that this “blog” will be a microcosm of some of the crap that we all go through while attempting to meet that special someone, especially around this nutty time of the year!
I will be posting on both the Yahoo site as well as the website, so that all blogs as well as all responses will be saved for posterity.
And by the way, ladies, if you happen to find yourself in this blog, and you disagree with the content, then please understand that it is being written for entertainment value, and in no way attempts to hurt, disparage, or embarrass anyone, thus the lack of names or descriptions of appearance. So get a life and enjoy what is, my life!
Spike…
What follows are some early responses and my responses to them. I’m going to start “lite.” I’ll be ratcheting up the action as time goes along.
(Editors note: Please forgive some of the uneven formatting in these blogs. The site just seems to keep changing it randomly and not allowing me to save it in it's original form.)
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She: “Standard or automatic transmission? :)
”Me: “5 speed, four on the floor hemi baby! And what about you?”
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There was no response to my answer. I guess she doesn’t like five speeds, eh?
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She: “So you're open to test drives, then? I admire the playfulness and pluck of the below.
I'm a 1968 model, fairly mint. I'm a magazine editor and a writer. I don't wander on the road much. I take the curves well. I like to drive fast, to get where I'm going, but then I like to look at the scenery too, take in some quiet...
Shall we have that coffee?
”Me: “Pluck? My, my, not too many plucking people would use the word pluck to plucking describe me, however a Graceful plucking coffee would be a nice occurrence, or distraction, for this 5 speed, four on the floor Hemi!
Just a few tidbits about your possible future vehicle, since you were so kind as to share some of your own plucking attributes. Published author, photographer, event planner, and all around playful nut. Six feet one and a half, 200 reasonably solid lbs. Short brown hair, puppy dog brown eyes (ahhhhh...) and an unmatched, unconquerable zest for life.
I adore everything green, everything furry, and most things physical. I have been called cute, handsome, adorable, and many other things in a fit of passion.
Lies, all lies!
Sooooo.... do we take a chance on being adorable to one another, or do we do that horrible photo exchange thing?
Give a hollah, we'll talk about when and where.
Vroom, vroom....”
There was also no response to this answer. I guess she didn’t like my “pluck” after all!
I mean, geez, what the pluck? Is cute sarcasm really lost on women in an email?
In fact, sadly, many of the Q-women after writing initially, did not respond after the fact.
A let-down, to be sure, and not a small one!
Truly girls, I thought better of ye!
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To be continued with multiple responses, garbage in car engines, and even a few first dates!
Woo hoo!
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12/26/07 - Offered: "One slightly used boyfriend," Part Two.
Okay, well, some very interesting responses already and we’ve only just begun!
I’ll begin with just two responses from the first blog (and my answers) and then get into some more good stuff!
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She:“Good on you for bringing some humor and FUN into the search 4 love! I will be honest when I saw the first post, I almost responded because I am looking for a primary romantic partner ...
I must have been experiencing low energy or busy and just forgot about it. SO I'm very glad that you re-posted and with the comments! I checked out your site and love your whole concept - I too agree that single events SUCK - I tried to host events years ago - dinner parties. They were a lot of fun - just too much work for one person - glad to hear that you have a team to help you. I'm very interested in coming to your next event because I want to meet more people who open to seeing the FUN in meeting others for whatever reasons! I'm looking for someone who can be my "for sure" Saturday night date* - my favorite thing to do on Sat is to chill out at home, doing whatever and having sex
and then waking up on Sunday and having more sex
and then if I need to go do my thing I do and if he needs to go do his stuff he does ...
or if we want we chill some more.
Depending on what's happening in our lives. When you first meet someone - it's always that "not knowing" that frustrates me - "does he want me to call?" "Will he want to call me" "Does she want to hang with me ?" ... I am so over all of that BS so I have decided to do what I want to do and know that I will be meeting my next lover very soon because I am being honest with myself about what I want and need ... as well as what I can offer. It's going to be great in "08"
... see you then!”
Me: Now, um, er………uhhhhhh……
Hmmmmmm….
My first thought upon reading this email was “is she serious?”
My second thought was “Did I meet this girl at Quentin’s last party and did she grope me?”
I am preparing to answer her post, although I kinda lean towards it being a joke.
Guys (there have to be some guys out there, um, hellooooo?????) so what do you think?
Quentin? Deb? Anyone?
Help?
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She: “hey q'r. just one thing about the plucky gal's exchange... (cuz i have too much to say about the whole thing) she wrote a cute response back AND DIRECTLY asked to meet you. instead of making a date, you quite verbosely hijacked the possible coffee conversation. are you seeking just to entertain yourself or do you actually wish to meet the respondees?and witty sarcasm is not necessarily lost on "women" (oy). but smoke and mirrors might be. and perhaps, even, people are tired of accepting the beautiful magician's flower and it falling over in their hand.
have good holiday times!”
love
s'o's
Me: Now okay. I get what she’s saying, but as usual in a fit of passion and emotion this lovely, intelligent Q-woman missed two things.
First, at the end of my email response to “the plucky woman” I asked “when and where?”
Not exactly a blow off, more like a simple question of, well, WHEN AND WHERE?
Secondly, I left my phone number.Now sweetie, what more exactly do you expect a guy to do? Beg a complete stranger, who wrote one cute email to marry me and have my freakin’ children?
Really!
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Now to some more of the initial responses, and even an exchange and a DATE!
Woo hoo!
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She: “brilliant ... wish I had thought of it. :)”
Me: “I bow in humble appreciation!”
No response was expected, or received.
She: “hi David,
Offered from Q's list: one slightly used, though not frayed around the edges, woman, open to new adventures with a near mint condition gent.
Coffee at Starbucks suits to check the octane and chemistry and test for combustion.
Another one of a kind offer - do not miss out.”
Me: “Ahhhh, a woman who knows how to respond in kind! My heart be still!
So coffee at Starbucks is your best bid?
Hmmmm, what do I say to the college girl who wants to get me drunk?
Decisions, decisions. Perhaps a tryst on the telephone would suffice to help along a proper decision.
Hollah!”
She: “Coffee at Starbucks is not my best bid, just my opening volley.
And I'd never even try to compete w/the college girl who wants to get you drunk ...
Though I tend to doubt that a near mint condition gent would really be interested.
A tryst on the phone sounds good, but not for tonight. Are you around during the day tomorrow - I'll try you then.”
Me: “From what I see so far, it's the college girl that could not compete with you. But that's just me. Actually I will be busy most of the day tomorrow except for in the morning between 9:00 and 11:00 or so. I'll be out working the rest of the day and then I'll be in the city to meet with my improv group at 7:00. I will be free after 8:30 or so but will not be home.
Who knows, perhaps we'll both give such great phone that we'll feel the need to have coffee tomorrow evening.
Hey, anything is possible, right?
laters!”
So she called me and we talked and talked and talked. And then I wrote her the following note.
Me: “Hey (name deleted)
I just wanted to write a note to thank you for the conversation yesterday. We seem to be on similar paths and have similar issues!
Okay, don't get in an uproar because I said that you have issues! I have them too! You can yell at me over coffee.
Now speaking of coffee, I should be free in the evening next Tuesday, some time between 7:00 and 9:30 PM. I have to check with my partners to see if my improv group is meeting that evening. If yes, then I'll be free after 8:30. If no, then I should be free sometime after 7:00 or so.
This of course......
....I just spilled herbal tea all over my desk.
DAMN.
It was good tea too.....
Oh well, I didn't really need all those papers, did I?
Where was I, oh yeah, this of course is contingent on the Nor Easter we have due in Saturday evening. I'm sure the roads will be fine by Tuesday anyway.
Give a hollah over the weekend so we can firm this up.
Cool beans...”
She: “hi David -nice to get your note. thanks.
I enjoyed our conversation, too, and would enjoy the chance to meet for coffee or a drink next week - but unfortunately I have no evening time free unless we could meet around 6pm on Monday.
you mention the predicted storm this weekend,
and your concern about driving ... where do you live?
or another possibility - I'm open to meeting for coffee in the City one morning if that could work for you - enjoy your kids this weekend.
personally, I'm hoping for a big storm - I love the snow!”
So this went on for a bit and then her plans changed and we met for coffee.
She came to Riverdale, as it was on her way home from a meeting and we met at a brand new Starbucks.
I didn’t know what to expect as we decided not to exchange photos.
Yeah, you know how that usually goes.
So I was walking across the street and there she was, awaiting my arrival outside the Starbucks.
She seemed a bit older than me, attractive, shapely, but I think a bit out of my age reach. The date was nice.
Great conversation, intelligent exchanges, but unfortunately, for me anyway, no sparks at all.
A great woman to be sure though as she went out and bought me a bottle of “Arnica” a homeopathic remedy, as I had mentioned that I had fallen on some ice and hurt my finger the day before.
What a sweetie!
Any guys in their mid fifties?
Man have I got a woman for you!
Oh well?
More to follow next time, same Bat blog, same Bat channel!
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1/01/2008
Part three: One slightly used boyfriend, blog;
When I posted the original blog, I fully expected to get some responses, but I thought they would be of a “dating nature.”
When a young lady asked me to help her sell her car by writing an ad for her in exchange for certain professional services, I agreed to look at the vehicle and to post it on eBay, which is one of my many talents, thank you very much.
She requested a Wednesday in the afternoon and since I was picking up my kids (12 and 14) in the city that seemed like a good use of time.
I drove to her apartment on the Upper West Side and rang the bell. The kids waited just outside in the car to avoid the parking ticket with my name on it!
Her initial response was a bit brusque, that I needed to wait until she settled her client, waiting in the living room. She asked that I not pet her very gorgeous cat as he bites.
Bites?
Yah, okay then.
So I’m standing and waiting and waiting and knowing that, of course, the cat, seeing me standing there will be over in short time to rub against my leg.
And he was, and he did.
And of course, being a fervent animal lover I could not resist petting the kitty on the head and rubbing his sweet chin just a tad.
And then it happened, the kitty transformed from a loving leg rubber into the Saber tooth from Hell.
Really freaked me out, but not as much as the young lady who despite being at least ten years my junior was lecturing me in a not very nice tone.
So I stood there with that uncomfortable feeling we all get when you KNOW that you should leave immediately.
I stayed.
We went out to her car parked right in front and that was when the explanations began.
It seems that the neighborhood kids don’t particularly like her, or her car, and decided to “dimple” every fender on the vehicle.
Nice.
The car was basically not in very nice shape and so I decided to ask her to “crack the hood” so I could examine the engine.
Now you must understand that this woman was a bit, um, defensive about things to begin with, so I really needed to see every part of the car before making a choice whether to sell it or not.
The hood now open I discovered a pile of garbage sitting on the engine reminiscent of something Kramer would do on Seinfeld.
Candy wrappers, McDonalds bins, and the like were strewn about like the floor of a crack den.
I choked back my laughter, listened with one ear to her explanations of why, and departed with a smile.
My kids didn’t stop laughing for a half hour. You can’t make this stuff up folks!
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So way back on December 4, 2007 was Quentin’s last party, it was held at the Hotel
Chelsea on 23rd street. Actually, it was UNDER the hotel and to the side, a bit difficult to navigate.
I arrived early to help set up and was shortly thereafter accosted by a young couple who knew me from Landmark Education.
We had a great discussion and after a bit the young lady began asking those “I have a friend who might like you” questions.
Eventually she queried “what type of woman do you like?” My response was simple.
I answered that for some reason, no matter what “I like” I seem to attract women way younger.
Okay.
Whatever.
It isn’t what I seek I explained, but it’s what I keep seeming to find.
I explained that if she watched that I would be hanging out with, and leaving with someone way younger by the end of the evening.
I explained that I am clueless why this happens and that they just seem to hunt me down?
Weird.
So I departed to go say hello to Quentin, who I hadn’t seen yet, and just as I reached out to grab him this adorable, black eyed, curly brown haired angel tugs at my shoulder as asks “will you take my picture with Quentin?”
When my mouth closed from hitting the floor I agreed and then asked Quentin to take a picture of the girl with me.
He agreed and the evening was delicious from there on out.
She introduced me to her friends and we grabbed a booth to chat the night away.
Eventually her friends departed.
She remained.
We talked. We busted chops (okay, I busted chops). She smacked me on the arm several times telling me to “shut up!”
It was adorable.
Why did she have to be 28? And why did she have to be animated, brilliant, gorgeous, emotional, and a completely open book?
Damn!
As we departed I passed the couple who I had been speaking to at the onset of the evening. I leaned close to the wife and said “See, I told you. Save me, please!”
She smiled.
I drove my new friend home and a link formed that exists to this day.
Relax girls we’re just friends (I think).
So the following week we grabbed some Tazo tea at Starbucks on the Upper West Side.
It was strange because there was this really aggressive homeless guy that seemed to like my friend;
Seemed to like her a lot and positioned himself literally inches behind her as she attempted to drink her beverage.
It was creepy.
I made eye contact with him and freaked her out by making arm and hand movements to suggest that she liked him!
She turned quite red.
He explained that he had no coat and started to go for mine.
I was not pleased and gave him the “touch my coat and die” look.
He decided to accost other patrons and eventually we finished our tea and pumpkin cake and left.
I drove her home and called my kids to say that I’d be back in 20 minutes and that we could then play Lego’s until the wee hours (it was a Friday).
Her eyes lit up like charcoal embers in a dying fire as she proclaimed “Lego? Can I play too?”
Um, what? You wanna play with me? Huh, huh, huh……
So I asked my son (12) who said “sure dad, why not?”
She was pleased, very pleased.
She ran into her building like a giddy child and was back in five (maybe seven) minutes with a bag of stuff.
And so she came home with me. The ride home was filled with a thousand questions.
I answered few, still playing with her.
We arrived at my building and my gay doorman winked at me.
He is the best. I love him to death!
We opened up my dining room table after the customary intros and dumped a huge draw full of Lego’s onto the table.
She stated that she wanted to get out of her clothes and into her PJ’s.
PJ’s?
Um, okay?
She went into my bedroom and when I next saw her she was garbed in flowing, silky, pink PJ’s.
Um…..um……um…..
Wow.
I had a definite problem as the slight tightness in nether regions explained to me. She silkily slid into the dining room and proceeded to position herself across the table from me.
I felt dizzy. I felt confused. I felt…
I tried not to feel! So I grabbed Lego’s.
And we built, and we built, and I busted on her because she wasn’t very good (we are master Lego-maniacs!) and my kids defended her to the max.
That never happens. My kids liked her.
That’s bad; really, really bad.
Eventually we got tired and I deposited the kids in their bedroom.
I went to get something in my bedroom and as I exited she gave me the most delicious hug exclaiming “thank you so much for having me here. Where do I sleep?”
I swallowed as my soul nearly left my body.
I walked her over to my bed and she sat. We talked for what seemed like days and I seemingly now know her entire life story; like I said, an open book, but also a total drama queen. As she was explaining stuff she cried several times and it became apparent to me that this gorgeous woman sitting on my bed was a very young child in so many ways. I knew right then and there that nothing would happen.
I walked her over to the couch in my living room, gave her a blanket and a pillow, closed the window as she was cold, covered her up, stroked her sweet head until she fell asleep and took the long path back to my warm, inviting, very empty bed.
Oh man does it suck being a good guy or what?
She stayed until past dinner the following evening (which we cooked together, her very first attempt at cooking) and we drove her home to the City. She is fast becoming my best friend and boy can she talk,
And talk, and talk.
And there’s so much more.
But not today!
Ha!
Spike…
1/15/2008
Part Four: One slightly used boyfriend blog.
So last night there was a party at Katra Lounge hosted by QFNY; Great food great people, great vibe.
Now generally, being a guy and single I go into these social situations realizing there will be tons of available women and having a game plan.
Last night I had none. I just wanted to hang, have fun, and meet awesome folks.
And there I was, about 30 minutes into this thing, typically surrounded by a small crowd of “20-something’s” having cute conversations.
And that little voice in my head said “you’re doing it again.”
And the voice was correct as I was yakking with woman the age of my eldest daughter, and some younger, and this seemed to be a continuing social theme for me, a theme that didn’t serve me very well (despite being tremendous fun and a huge ego booster.)
So I made a polite departure in the attempt to meet people of my own age!
Now here is the funny part. In the past I have had little to no problem “breaking the ice” with women I found attractive.
The challenge for me had always been taking the conversation to the next level, y’know, the “would you like to have coffee sometime” conversation.
Terrifying!
Agh!
The possibility of getting politely shot down in flames?
Horrors!
I guess it was almost as if I expected them to ask me first. They rarely if ever did!
But for some reason, I dunno, maybe my relaxed vibe, perhaps not having an agenda, maybe just relaxing and wanting to make friends, and perhaps not being intimidated by the guys who were obviously there with an agenda (and openly befriending them) …
…every single woman I talked to last night, every single one I had any interest in dating, every one that I found interesting, cute, smart and available,
Every single one…
…gave me her number, and email, and business card.
These women were vibrant, beautiful, alive, interesting people with amazing stories, wonderful lives, and shared so openly that I actually shut up and listened to them.
Listening;
Quite the concept that.
Now you need to understand that despite having plenty of success with women in the past I have been out of the “loop” for a while and rarely attempted to meet anyone in a bar.
So this came as a bit of a surprise to me, but just a bit as I do after all teach courses in “The Law of Attraction” just not specifically “that type” of attraction! I guess when I look at it all in perspective I can see that just being totally yourself in social situations, without any “game” without any preconceived notions, and without any pickup lines or lewd comments will garner a tremendous amount of cooperation, and yes, adoration from the opposite sex.
So I was running over to say goodbye to Quentin at the end of the evening and someone caught my eye.
We talked for quite some time and I nearly got lost in her beautiful green eyes.
Her mannerisms were very erotic, yet at the same time innocent and when she spoke there was just the cutest twinkle in her eyes.
Yeah, I have her number too.
Yeah, I will be calling!
Yeah, she’s probably reading this and totally blowing my “tough guy” persona.
Yeah, it’s all good.
So I’m leaving and, of course, one of the “20 something’s” grabs me to say goodbye.
She asks me for my card and writes her email and phone number on the back.
I smile and tell her to say hello to her fiancée for me.
Adorable.
Spike...